第10章　句子的长短和简繁

一、简明英语提倡短句和简单句

简明语言的原则之一是使用短句，避免长句。

英语产生长句的原因，一是流水句，二是复杂的嵌套句式。例如：

流水句：

Janice is an enthusiastic basketball player, and she is the top-scoring player on our team, but unfortunately, she will not be able to play in tomorrow’s game, for her sprained ankle is not completely healed.

建议改为：

Janice is an enthusiastic basketball player, and the top-scoring player on our team. Unfortunately, she will not be able to play in tomorrow’s game, for her sprained ankle is not completely healed.

复杂句：

The train stopped at the small station, which was a few miles from the center of the city, because it was a local run that picked up passengers who chose to ride in the late morning.

建议改为：

The train stopped at the small station a few miles from the center of the city. It was a local run that picked up passengers who chose to ride in the late moming.

二、汉译英时化长为短，化繁为简

汉译英时有两类长句值得注意。一是流水句，二是结构复杂的句子，与英语相似。翻译时要避免翻译为英语的流水句或复杂句。

1．流水句

汉语流水句的特点是一个分句接一个分句，很多地方可断可连，能省略的成分就省略。翻译流水句要注意断句和分清层次。

(1) 断句

在市场经济体制下，收入分配机制与竞争机制相联系，必然造成社会成员之间在收入分配方面的不均等，甚至收入相差十分悬殊，强者成为富翁，弱者陷于困境。为了解决这一社会问题，就需要运用政府的力量对社会经济生活进行干预，通过提供社会保障措施，通过对社会成员的收入进行必要的再分配调节方式，将高收入者的一部分收入适当转移给另一部分缺少收入的人，从而在一定程度上缩小社会成员之间的贫富差距，弥补市场经济的缺陷，缓和社会矛盾，以促进社会公平目标的实现。(两个句号)

In a market economy, where income distribution is a function of competition, wealth is inevitably distributed unequally. Sometimes the income gap widens because the strong gets richer and the weak poorer. This is a problem that can be addressed only with government intervention. Social security is a form of intervention that increases social equity by redistributing wealth, for part of the income of the rich is rechannelled to the lower income. By narrowing the income gap and mitigating the flaws of the market economy in some extent, social security enhances social cohesion and equity.(五个句号)

原来的2个句号变为5个句号。

(2) 分清层次

汉语的流水句在形式上看是并列的，但意思可能存在包含、因果、递进等关系，翻译时要体现出来。例：

强化企业内部改革，选择少量中央管理的大型企业和境外上市公司，进行收入分配制度改革试点，建立对企业经营者有效的激励和约束机制。(政府工作报告)

We should deepen the reform in businesses, initiate pilot reform of the income distribution system in selected large corporations managed by the central authorities and in foreign-listed companies, and develop effective incentive and control mechanisms for business managers.

这里把汉语的并列也译为英语的并列，笔者认为不一定妥当。从上下文的意义来看，“选择少量中央管理的大型企业和境外上市公司，进行收入分配制度改革试点”是“强化企业内部改革”的内容；而“建立对企业经营者有效的激励和约束机制”是“收入分配制度改革”的目的。所以，似乎可以译为：

We will deepen internal reform of SOEs. We will initiate pilot reform of the income distribution system in selected large enterprises managed by the central authorities and in companies listed on overseas stock markets, in order to develop incentives and disincentives for business managers.

2．复杂句

汉语中也有一些结构复杂的嵌套句子，翻译时应当分解为短句。

针对中国发展中党治与法治的内在矛盾——中国在1924年由国民党提出“以党建国”、“以党治国”，20世纪50——70年代，共产党把“以党治国”发展到极至，后来共产党主动推进开放和改革，在1997年提出“依法治国”和建设“社会主义法治国家”，而在走向开放之中法治的准则和中国在20世纪50——70年代形成的已成定式的行为和思维模式之间实际存在着一种内在的紧张——本项目将集合地方党和政府领导人、人大领导人，及法院院长、法官和律师，以及第三部门负责人和基层自治组织负责人，以培训的形式，共同探寻在地方推行法治的路径。(一份学术报告)

To resolve the inherent conflict between the rule of the Party and the rule of law in China’s development, the project will offer training to leaders of local Party and government organizations, leaders of the legislature, presidents of courts, Judges, lawyers, and NGO officers and officials of grassroots self-governing organizations to promote rule of law at the local level.

In 1924, the Nationalist Party(KMT) proposed the concepts of “build the country through the Party” and “governing the country through the Party”. From the 1950s to 1970s, the Communist Party of China(CPC)took the latter to the extreme. Later, the CPC initiated the reform and opening-up policy. In 1997, it proposed to “govern the  country through law” and build “a socialist country governed by law”. But as the country progressively opens up, there is always a tension between the rule of law and the set behaviors and mindsets formed during the 1950s-70s.

这段汉语文字从结构上看，只有一句话，翻译为英语显然要断开。另外，在表达的先后顺序上也作了调整：开门见山提出重点，另起一段交代背景。

三、注意句子长短搭配

句子简短当然便于读者理解，但通篇都是短句也会使读者感到单调、乏味，所以应当在简明的基础上适当追求一些句式的变化，追求一定程度的“雅”。可以尝试以下方法：

1．并列结构

并列结构就是结构相同或相似的一组短语或句子。例：

在对与艾滋病相关的法律做出评估前，需要对做这种法律评估的分析思路做一个清理，也就是我们面对的是什么问题，我们的方法，及我们所持的基本的价值取向。

Before assessing AIDS-related laws, we must clarify our thoughts on this analysis. This means that we must identify our problems, our methods, and our values.

2．从属

除了我们经常使用的各种从句外，可以学习使用以下几种表达方式：重复式修饰(resumptive modifiers)、总结式修饰(summative modifiers)和自由修饰(free modifiers)。

(1) 重复式修饰

找到医治艾滋病的方法，要靠生物学家和医学家的努力，但解决今天肆虐全球的、作为一种社会病症的艾滋病问题，却不是仅靠生物学家和医学家所能做到的。

To find a cure for AIDS, we need biologists and medical experts; but to cure AIDS as a social problem, a problem that has run wild globally, biologists and medical experts alone are not enough.

(2)总结式修饰

在一年多的时间内，公司推行了BEE，即于现有资源下提升表现而达致最佳水平计划，令产量由5千吨飙升至7千吨，而公司内部也产生了一连串的变化。

For more than a year, the company has implemented the Baseline Enhancement to Entitlement(BEE), a program that uses existing resources to achieve the best performance. As a result，output has increased from 5,000 tonnes to 7,000 tonnes, and many changes have also taken place.

(3) 自由式修饰

自由修饰大多数以现在分词开头：

The Scopes monkey trial was a watershed in American religious thinking, legitimizing the contemporary interpretation of the Bible and making literal fundamentalism a backwater of anti-intellectual theology.

也可能以过去分词开头：

Leonardo da Vinci was a man of powerful intellect, driven by an insnttable curiosity and haunted by a vision of artistic expression.

或者以形容词开头：

In 1939 the United States began to assist the British in their struggle against Germany, fully aware that it faced another world war.

请看翻译中的应用。例：

1985年以后，改革在城市推开，允许公有制之外的多种经济形式存在，使城市中的一些人有可能离开原有的单位体制。

After 1985, reform was extended to the cities. Non-public ownership was allowed, making it possible for some urban residents to leave the work-unit (danwei)system.