Forgiveness

Anonymous

For some people forgiveness feels impossible because they have no idea how to go about it. The first and most important thing you need to accept is that the act of forgiveness is not going to be easy. In fact, it will probably be the hardest thing most of us ever have to do.

It seems totally unfair that we should have to forgive when we're the ones who have been hurt. And that's the crux1of forgiveness. It seems unfair because it is unfair. Otherwise2, what is the need of forgiveness? Forgiveness is about pardoning things that are essentially inexcusable3. After all, if something can be excused, it doesn't need forgiving, does it?

The saying "forgive and forget" may roll off the tongue, but it's as shallow as it is short. For one thing, it's downright impossible. For another, it misses the whole point of forgiveness. The things we most need to forgive in life are the things we can't forget. Rather than sweeping them under the carpet, we need to draw a line under them, deliberately4choosing not to count them against the person who did them, and moving on.

That's why, sometimes, the initial act of forgiveness may seem relatively easy, but dealing with the emotions that follow every time you see that person, speak to them or just think about them can be harder to deal with. True forgiveness is not a act; it's a constant emotional confrontation5.

And the longer you wait to forgive someone, the harder it becomes. Time really doesn't heal; it just gives the bitterness and resentment longer to eat away at you from inside. If you wait for the "right time" you may never do it.

热词天地

1.crux [krʌks] n.（问题的）中心，核心，结症；坩埚；关键；症结

2.otherwise['ʌðəwaɪz] adv．否则；另外；以别的方式

3.inexcusable[ˌɪnɪk'skju:zəbl] adj．不可宽恕的；无法原谅的

4.deliberately[dɪ'lɪbərɪtlɪ] adv．故意地；深思熟虑地；从容不迫地

5.confrontation [ˌkɒnfrʌn'teɪʃn] n．对抗；面对；遭遇；对峙