Creating Your Own Way

The necessity of finding and following your own way is the stuff of timeless legend and lore. In the stories of King Arthur and his roundtable, for example, the magician Merlin brings each knight to a part of the forest where there is no path so that each will be forced to find his own.

We often avoid the quest for the highest goal because it is frightening to create our own way. We allow ourselves to be diverted by the thousand things that pull at us every day—work, family responsibilities, entertainment—or we settle for someone else’s path. Even those of us who practice a particular religion or spiritual tradition must bring it into our lives in our own way, or it will never be meaningful for us beyond agreeable theory or pleasant ritual.

Early in life, most of us borrowed a path from others, primarily from our parents or some tradition. People around us give us models. In my life, for instance, my mother gave me the model of openness to others, my father of communication, attention to detail and going slowly at first as you learn something new. My Aunt Bess passed on to me the power of gratitude. Through his writing, the great golfer and coach Tommy Armour introduced me to the idea of paying attention to my best performance and traits and ignoring bad habits—a core suggestion of this book. Many other people, some of whom I didn’t even know, showed me models for all kinds of situations.

We all use these early directions, at least for a time. Consider the creative history of great artists such as Picasso or Beethoven. Their early work is technically outstanding and promising, but derivative. Eventually, they began to strike out on their own and create new approaches. Picasso developed cubism, and Beethoven created the remarkable transcendence in his Late Quartets. The work of both artists is so distinctive that you don’t have to be told whose work it is—you just know.

Other artists who are not as well known also develop distinctive styles, achieve a life of fulfillment and make a contribution. But many others fail to find their own way, and they miss the opportunity to move to the highest goal.

The key is to pay attention to what works for you so that you begin to develop your own path. You don’t reject the people and traditions of your early life; rather, you begin to develop your own tradition and work with your own teachers.

This is a lifelong journey—no matter how old you are, this process of finding what works and discovering your path gives your life meaning. You continually develop your understanding of your relationship to the highest goal. By creating from your highest goal and living on your path toward it, you inspire others. And this becomes your greatest legacy.