41

I long to speak the deepest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, for fear you should laugh.

That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.

I make light of my pain, afraid you should do so.

I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them.

That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of what I mean.

I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so.

I long to use the most precious words I have for you;but I dare not, fearing I should not be paid with like value.

我想对你说出我要说的最深的话语，但是我不敢，我怕你的哂笑。

因此我嘲笑自己，把我的秘密在玩笑中粉碎。

我把痛苦说得轻松，因为怕你会这样做。

我渴望对你说出我要说的真心的话语，但是我不敢，我怕你不相信。

因此我弄真成假，说出与我真心话相反的话。

我把痛苦说得可笑，因为我怕你会这样做。

我想用最珍贵的词汇来形容你，但是我不敢，我怕得不到同等的珍视。

That is why I give you hard names and boast of my callous strength.

I hurt you, for fear you would never know any pain.

I long to sit silent by you; but I dare not lest my heart come out at my lips.

That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart behind words.

I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.

I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my cowardice should become known to you.

That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your presence.

Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.

因此我给了你苛刻的名字，来夸示我的硬骨。

我伤害你，因为怕你永远不理解我的痛苦。

我渴望沉静地坐在你身旁，但是我不敢，怕我的心会跳上我的唇。

因此我轻松地说东讲西，把我的心藏在言语里。

我粗暴地应付我的痛苦，因为我怕你会这样做。

我渴望从你身边走开，但是我不敢，怕你看出我的怯懦。

因此我昂起头，漫不经心地走到你面前。

从你眼里频频投来的刺激，使我的痛苦永久新鲜。