第22章 PART THE FIRST(18)

All hail to thee,glorious St Paul!thou noble light among all the stars of heaven,who was wrapt up so high and initiated so deeply into the mysteries of the Godhead,when thou didst hear the deep words which it is not given to man to utter,and who yet wast so sweetly touched in thy heart by this very passion of infinite love,above everything else,that thou didst exclaim:"I determined not to know anything among you save Jesus Christ and Him crucified."[6]Blessed be thou,too,among all doctors,sweet St.Bernard,whose soul was so illuminated with the brightness of the eternal Word that most sweetly did thy tongue exhale from a full heart the passion of His humility,when thy fervent soul thus spoke:The green bunch of myrrh of my Lord's bitter Passion have I fondly taken betwixt my breasts,and tenderly pressed to my heart;I do not ask,like the bride,where He rests at noon whom I embrace in the midst of my heart:I do not ask where He feeds His flock at noon,whom my soul so longingly beholds on the cross;that is certainly loftier,but this is sweeter and easier to attain.From this love-o'erflowing Passion,I take what fully makes up for the insufficiency of my own small merits;herein lies my complete justification;to meditate on this Passion,I call eternal wisdom,the perfection of all knowledge,the riches of all salvation,an entire satisfaction of all desert;it casts me down in prosperity,it raises me up in adversity,it keeps me in an even balance between this world's weal and woe,and guards me against all evil in complete security.Sometimes I have drunk out of it a draught of salutary bitterness,but at other times I have also drunk out of it a draught of spiritual consolation and divine sweetness.[7]O sweet St.Bernard,therefore is it but just that thy tongue should overflow with sweetness,since thy heart was so wholly sweetened with sweet suffering.O Eternal Wisdom,in this,I observe that,whoever is desirous of great reward and everlasting salvation,of high knowledge and deep wisdom,of standing erect in joy and sorrow,of possessing full security against all evil,whoever wishes to drink a draught of Thy bitter Passion,and Thy singular sweetness,must carry Thee at all times,O crucified Jesus,before the eyes of his heart.

Eternal Wisdom.--Thou dost not rightly know what good is lodged in it.

Behold,assiduous meditation on My Passion makes out of a simple man a master of high knowledge;truly it is a living book in which everything is to be found.How right blessed is that man who has it ever before his eyes and studies it!What wisdom,grace,consolation,sweetness,what cleansing from all imperfection,may not such a man obtain through the devout contemplation of My living presence!Respecting which,listen to what follows.It fell out many years ago,that a certain preacher in the beginning of his conversion had a bitter affliction of inordinate despondency,which,at times,so overpowered him that no heart which had not experienced it could conceive it.And,as he once sat after meat in his cell,his affliction was so great that he could neither study nor pray,nor perform any other good deed,except sitting there so sadly in his cell,and laying his hands in his lap,as though he meant only to take care of the cell,for God's sake,because he was no longer of any use in spiritual things.And,as he thus sat disconsolate,it suddenly seemed to him as though he heard these words distinctly addressed to him:Why dost thou sit here?Arise and betake thee to My sorrowful Passion,for then wilt thou overcome thy own sorrow.And immediately he arose,for the words were the same to him as though they came from heaven,and he began to meditate on the sorrowful Passion of the Lord,in which all his own sorrow was lost,so that he never felt it again in the same manner.

The Servant.--O my sweet Wisdom,Thou understandest all hearts,and knowest that,above all things,I desire to have my heart penetrated with Thy Passion,in the face of all men,and my eyes turned day and night into running fountains of bitter tears.Alas!there is just now in my soul a bitter complaint,that Thy Passion does not at all times thoroughly penetrate my heart,and that I do not meditate on it so affectionately as in reason I ought to do,and as is worthy of Thee,my Lord elect;teach me,therefore,how I ought to comport myself!

Eternal Wisdom.--The meditation on My torments must not be made by going through them in a hasty manner,when one has time and opportunity,but it must be made by going through them with heartfelt love and a compassionate searching into their mysteries;for,otherwise,the heart remains as unaffected by devotion,as the mouth by unchewed sweet-tasting food.If thou hast no liking to meditate on My Passion with weeping eyes,because of the bitter agony I suffered,then oughtest thou to meditate on it with a laughing heart,because of the joyous benefit thou wilt find in it.