第105章

Clemens thought he had given up lecturing for good; he was prosperous and he had no love for the platform.But one day an idea popped into his head: Thomas Nast, the "father of the American cartoon," had delivered a successful series of illustrated lectures-talks for which he made the drawings as he went along.Mark Twain's idea was to make a combination with Nast.His letter gives us the plan in full.

To Thomas Nast, Morristown, N.J.:

HARTFORD, CONN.1877.

MY DEAR NAST,--I did not think I should ever stand on a platform again until the time was come for me to say "I die innocent." But the same old offers keep arriving.I have declined them all, just as usual, though sorely tempted, as usual.

Now, I do not decline because I mind talking to an audience, but because (1) traveling alone is so heartbreakingly dreary, and (2) shouldering the whole show is such a cheer-killing responsibility.

Therefore, I now propose to you what you proposed to me in 1867, ten years ago (when I was unknown,) viz., that you stand on the platform and make pictures, and I stand by you and blackguard the audience.I should enormously enjoy meandering around (to big towns--don't want to go to the little ones) with you for company.

My idea is not to fatten the lecture agents and lyceums on the spoils, but put all the ducats religiously into two equal piles, and say to the artist and lecturer, "Absorb these."For instance--[Here follows a plan and a possible list of cities to be visited.The letter continues]

Call the gross receipts $100,000 for four months and a half, and the profit from $60,000 to $75,000 (I try to make the figures large enough, and leave it to the public to reduce them.)I did not put in Philadelphia because Pugh owns that town, and last winter when I made a little reading-trip he only paid me $300 and pretended his concert (I read fifteen minutes in the midst of a concert)cost him a vast sum, and so he couldn't afford any more.I could get up a better concert with a barrel of cats.

I have imagined two or three pictures and concocted the accompanying remarks to see how the thing would go.I was charmed.

Well, you think it over, Nast, and drop me a line.We should have some fun.

Yours truly, SAMUEL L.CLEMENS.

The plan came to nothing.Nast, like Clemens, had no special taste for platforming, and while undoubtedly there would have been large profits in the combination, the promise of the venture did not compel his acceptance.

In spite of his distaste for the platform Mark Twain was always giving readings and lectures, without charge, for some worthy Hartford cause.He was ready to do what he could to help an entertainment along, if he could do it in his own way--an original way, sometimes, and not always gratifying to the committee, whose plans were likely to be prearranged.

For one thing, Clemens, supersensitive in the matter of putting himself forward in his own town, often objected to any special exploitation of his name.This always distressed the committee, who saw a large profit to their venture in the prestige of his fame.

The following characteristic letter was written in self-defense when, on one such occasion, a committee had become sufficiently peevish to abandon a worthy enterprise.

To an Entertainment Committee, in Hartford:

Nov.9.

E.S.SYKES, Esq:

Dr.SIR,--Mr.Burton's note puts upon me all the blame of the destruction of an enterprise which had for its object the succor of the Hartford poor.That is to say, this enterprise has been dropped because of the "dissatisfaction with Mr.Clemens's stipulations." Therefore I must be allowed to say a word in my defense.

There were two "stipulations"--exactly two.I made one of them; if the other was made at all, it was a joint one, from the choir and me.

My individual stipulation was, that my name should be kept out of the newspapers.The joint one was that sufficient tickets to insure a good sum should be sold before the date of the performance should be set.

(Understand, we wanted a good sum--I do not think any of us bothered about a good house; it was money we were after)Now you perceive that my concern is simply with my individual stipulation.Did that break up the enterprise?

Eugene Burton said he would sell $300 worth of the tickets himself.--Mr.

Smith said he would sell $200 or $300 worth himself.My plan for Asylum Hill Church would have ensured $150 from that quarter.--All this in the face of my "Stipulation." It was proposed to raise $1000; did my stipulation render the raising of $400 or $500 in a dozen churches impossible?

My stipulation is easily defensible.When a mere reader or lecturer has appeared 3 or 4 times in a town of Hartford's size, he is a good deal more than likely to get a very unpleasant snub if he shoves himself forward about once or twice more.Therefore I long ago made up my mind that whenever I again appeared here, it should be only in a minor capacity and not as a chief attraction.

Now, I placed that harmless and very justifiable stipulation before the committee the other day; they carried it to headquarters and it was accepted there.I am not informed that any objection was made to it, or that it was regarded as an offense.It seems late in the day, now, after a good deal of trouble has been taken and a good deal of thankless work done by the committees, to, suddenly tear up the contract and then turn and bowl me down from long range as being the destroyer of it.

If the enterprise has failed because of my individual stipulation, here you have my proper and reasonable reasons for making that stipulation.

If it has failed because of the joint stipulation, put the blame there, and let us share it collectively.

I think our plan was a good one.I do not doubt that Mr.Burton still approves of it, too.I believe the objections come from other quarters, and not from him.Mr.Twichell used the following words in last Sunday's sermon, (if I remember correctly):