第29章

While I was by no means so popular as Tom,I got along fairly well.Ihad escaped from provincialism,from the obscure purgatory of the wholesale grocery business;new vistas,exciting and stimulating,had been opened up;nor did I offend the sensibilities and prejudices of the new friends I made,but gave a hearty consent to a code I found congenial.I recognized in the social system of undergraduate life at Harvard a reflection of that of a greater world where I hoped some day to shine;yet my ambition did not prey upon me.Mere conformity,however,would not have taken me very far in a sphere from which I,in common with many others,desired not to be excluded....One day,in an idle but inspired moment,I paraphrased a song from "Pinafore,"applying it to a college embroglio,and the brief and lively vogue it enjoyed was sufficient to indicate a future usefulness.I had "found myself."This was in the last part of the freshman year,and later on I became a sort of amateur,class poet-laureate.Many were the skits I composed,and Tom sang them....

During that freshman year we often encountered Hermann Krebs,whistling merrily,on the stairs.

"Got your themes done?"he would inquire cheerfully.

And Tom would always mutter,when he was out of earshot:"He has got a crust!"When I thought about Krebs at all,--and this was seldom indeed,--his manifest happiness puzzled me.Our cool politeness did not seem to bother him in the least;on the contrary,I got the impression that it amused him.He seemed to have made no friends.And after that first evening,memorable for its homesickness,he never ventured to repeat his visit to us.

One windy November day I spied his somewhat ludicrous figure striding ahead of me,his trousers above his ankles.I was bundled up in a new ulster,--of which I was secretly quite proud,--but he wore no overcoat at all.

"Well,how are you getting along?"I asked,as I overtook him.

He made clear,as he turned,his surprise that I should have addressed him at all,but immediately recovered himself.

"Oh,fine,"he responded."I've had better luck than I expected.I'm correspondent for two or three newspapers.I began by washing windows,and doing odd jobs for the professors'wives."He laughed."I guess that doesn't strike you as good luck."He showed no resentment at my patronage,but a self-sufficiency that made my sympathy seem superfluous,giving the impression of an inner harmony and content that surprised me.

"I needn't ask how you're getting along,"he said....

At the end of the freshman year we abandoned Mrs.Bolton's for more desirable quarters.

I shall not go deeply into my college career,recalling only such incidents as,seen in the retrospect,appear to have had significance.Ihave mentioned my knack for song-writing;but it was not,I think,until my junior year there was startlingly renewed in me my youthful desire to write,to create something worth while,that had so long been dormant.

The inspiration came from Alonzo Cheyne,instructor in English;a remarkable teacher,in spite of the finicky mannerisms which Tom imitated.And when,in reading aloud certain magnificent passages,he forgot his affectations,he managed to arouse cravings I thought to have deserted me forever.Was it possible,after all,that I had been right and my father wrong?that I might yet be great in literature?

A mere hint from Alonzo Cheyne was more highly prized by the grinds than fulsome praise from another teacher.And to his credit it should be recorded that the grinds were the only ones he treated with any seriousness;he took pains to answer their questions;but towards the rest of us,the Chosen,he showed a thinly veiled contempt.None so quick as he to detect a simulated interest,or a wily effort to make him ridiculous;and few tried this a second time,for he had a rapier-like gift of repartee that transfixed the offender like a moth on a pin.He had a way of eyeing me at times,his glasses in his hand,a queer smile on his lips,as much as to imply that there was one at least among the lost who was made for better things.Not that my work was poor,but Iknew that it might have been better.Out of his classes,however,beyond the immediate,disturbing influence of his personality I would relapse into indifference....

Returning one evening to our quarters,which were now in the "Yard,"I found Tom seated with a blank sheet before him,thrusting his hand through his hair and biting the end of his penholder to a pulp.In his muttering,which was mixed with the curious,stingless profanity of which he was master,I caught the name of Cheyne,and I knew that he was facing the crisis of a fortnightly theme.The subject assigned was a narrative of some personal experience,and it was to be handed in on the morrow.

My own theme was already,written.

"I've been holding down this chair for an hour,and I can't seem to think of a thing."He rose to fling himself down on the lounge."I wish I was in Canada.""Why Canada?""Trout fishing with Uncle Jake at that club of his where he took me last summer."Tom gazed dreamily at the ceiling."Whenever I have some darned foolish theme like this to write I want to go fishing,and I want to go like the devil.I'll get Uncle Jake to take you,too,next summer.""I wish you would.""Say,that's living all right,Hughie,up there among the tamaracks and balsams!"And he began,for something like the thirtieth time,to relate the adventures of the trip.

As he talked,the idea presented itself to me with sudden fascination to use this incident as the subject of Tom's theme;to write it for him,from his point of view,imitating the droll style he would have had if he had been able to write;for,when he was interested in any matter,his oral narrative did not lack vividness.I began to ask him questions: