第136章 CHAPTER XXI(5)

"And he popped up so much that at last I saw he was either pretending or else he really was growing very fond of me, so one day when we were alone I told him all about you, to make him see that he must not. He laughed at me, and said exactly what you did, that Ididn't love you at all, that it was gratitude, that it was the affection of a child. He talked for hours about how grandfather and grandmother had suffered, how it was my duty to live with them and give you up, even if I cared greatly for you; but he said what I felt was not love at all.

Then he tried to tell me what he thought love was, and Icould see very clearly that if it was like that, I didn't love you, but I came a whole world closer it than loving him, and I told him so. He laughed again and said I was mistaken, and that he was going to teach me what real love was, and then I could not be driven back to you. After that, everybody and everything just pushed me toward him with both hands, except one person. She was a young married woman and I met her at the very first. She was the only real friend I ever had, and at last, the latter part of February, when things were the very worst, I told her. I told her every single thing. She was on your side. She said you were twice the man Herbert Kennedy was, and as soon as Ifound I could talk to her about you, I began going there and staying as long as I could, just to talk and to play with her baby.

"Her husband was a splendid young fellow, and Igrew very fond of him. I knew she had told him, because he suddenly began talking to me in the kindest way, and everything he said seemed to be what I most wanted to hear. I got along fairly well until hints of spring began to come, and then I would wonder about my hedge, and my gold garden, and if the ice was off the lake, and about my boat and horse, and I wanted my room, and oh, David, most of all I wanted you! Just you! Not because you could give me anything to compare in richness with what they could, not because this home was the best I'd ever known except theirs, not for any reason at all only just that I wanted to see your face, hear your voice, and have you pick me up and take me in your arms when I was tired. That was when I almost quit writing.

I couldn't say what I wanted to, and I wouldn't write trivial things, so I went on day after day just groping."

"And you killed me alive," said the Harvester.

"I was afraid of that, but I couldn't write. I just couldn't! It was ten days ago that I thought of the bluebird's coming this year and what it would mean to you, and THAT killed me, Man! It just hurt my heart until it ached, to know that you were out here alone;and that night I couldn't sleep, because I was thinking of you, and it came to me that if I had your lips then Icould give you a much, much better kiss than the last, and when it was light I wrote that line.

"Nearly a week later I got your answer early in the morning, and it almost drove me wild. I took it and went for the day with May, and I told her. She took me upstairs, and we talked it over, and before I left she made me promise that I would write you and explain how Ifelt, and ask you what you thought. She wanted you to come there and see if you couldn't make them at least respect you. I know I was crying, and she was bathing the baby. She went to bring something she had forgotten, and she gave him to me to hold, just his little naked body. He stood on my lap and mauled my face, and pulled my hair, and hugged me with his stout little arms and kissed me big, soft, wet kisses, and something sprang to life in my heart that never before had been there. I just cried all over him and held him fast, and I couldn't give him up when she came back. I saw why I'd wanted a big doll all my life, right then; and oh, dear! the doll you sent was beautiful, but, David, did you ever hold a little, living child in your arms like that?"

"I never did," said the Harvester huskily.

He looked at her face and saw the tears rolling, but he could say no more, so he leaned his head against her knee, and finding one of her hands he drew it to his lips.

"It is wonderful," said the Girl softly. "It awakens something in your heart that makes it all soft and tender, and you feel an awful responsibility, too. Grandmother had them telephone at last, and May helped me bathe my face and fix my hat. When we went to the carriage Mr. Kennedy was there to take me home. We went past grandmother's florist to get her some violets----David, she is sleeping under yours, with just a few touching her lips. Oh it was lovely of you to get them; your fairies must have told you! She has them every day, and one of the objections she made to coming here was that she couldn't do without them in winter, and she found some on her pillow the very first thing. David, you are wonderful! And grandfather with his lily!

I know where he found that! I knew instantly. Ah, there are fairies who tell you, because you deserve to know."

The Girl bent and slipping her arm around his neck hugged him tight an instant, and then she continued unsteadily: "While he was in the shop----Harvester, this is like your wildest dream, but it's truest truth----a boy came down the walk crying papers, and as I live, he called your name. I knew it had to be you because he said, "First drug farm in America! Wonderful medicine contributed to the cause of science! David Langston honoured by National Medical Association!"

I just stood in the carriage and screamed, `Boy! Boy!' until the coachman thought I had lost my senses. He whistled and got me the paper. I was shaking so Iasked him how to find anything you wanted quickly, and he pointed the column where events are listed;and when I found the third page there was your face so splendidly reproduced, and you seemed so fine and noble to me I forgot about the dress suit and the badge in your buttonhole, or to wonder when or how or why it could have happened. I just sat there shouting in my soul, `David! David! Medicine Man! Harvester Man!' again and again.

"I don't know what I said to Mr. Kennedy or how Igot to my room. I scanned it by the column, at last I got to paragraphs, and finally I read all the sentences.