第203章

"Be satisfied!" said Mother Bunch; "God is just and good.If He has denied me many advantages, He has given me my joys, as you have yours."

"Joys?"

"Yes, and great ones--without which life would be too burdensome, and I should not have the courage to go through with it."

"I understand you," said Cephyse, with emotion; "you still know how to devote yourself for others, and that lightens your own sorrows."

"I do what I can, but, alas! it is very little; yet when I succeed,"

added Mother Bunch, with a faint smile, "I am as proud and happy as a poor little ant, who, after a great deal of trouble, has brought a big straw to the common nest.But do not let us talk any more of me."

"Yes, but I must, even at the risk of making you angry," resumed the Bacchanal Queen, timidly; "I have something to propose to you which you once before refused.Jacques Rennepont has still, I think, some money left--we are spending it in follies--now and then giving a little to poor people we may happen to meet--I beg of you, let me come to your assistance--I see in your poor face, you cannot conceal it from me, that you are wearing yourself out with toil."

"Thanks, my dear Cephyse, I know your good heart; but I am not in want of anything.The little I gain is sufficient for me."

"You refuse me," said the Bacchanal Queen, sadly, "because you know that my claim to this money is not honorable--be it so--I respect your scruples.But you will not refuse a service from Jacques; he has been a workman, like ourselves, and comrades should help each other.Accept it I beseech you, or I shall think you despise me."

"And I shall think you despise me, if you insist any more upon it, my dear Cephyse," said Mother Bunch, in a tone at once so mild and firm that the Bacchanal Queen saw that all persuasion would be in vain.She hung her head sorrowfully, and a tear again trickled down her cheek.

"My refusal grieves you," said the other, taking her hand; "I am truly sorry--but reflect--and you will understand me."

"You are right," said the Bacchanal Queen, bitterly, after a moment's silence; "you cannot accept assistance from my lover--it was an insult to propose it to you.There are positions in life so humiliating, that they soil even the good one wishes to do."

"Cephyse, I did not mean to hurt you--you know it well."

"Oh! believe me," replied the Bacchanal Queen, "gay and giddy as I am, I have sometimes moments of reflection, even in the midst of my maddest joy.Happily, such moments are rare."

"And what do you think of, then?"

"Why, that the life I lead is hardly the thing; then resolve to ask Jacques for a small sum of money, just enough to subsist on for a year, and form the plan of joining you, and gradually getting to work again."

"The idea is a good one; why not act upon it?"

"Because, when about to execute this project, I examined myself sincerely, and my courage failed.I feel that I could never resume the habit of labor, and renounce this mode of life, sometimes rich, as to-

day, sometimes precarious,--but at least free and full of leisure, joyous and without care, and at worst a thousand times preferable to living upon four francs a week.Not that interest has guided me.Many times have I refused to exchange a lover, who had little or nothing, for a rich man, that I did not like.Nor have I ever asked anything for myself.Jacques has spent perhaps ten thousand francs the last three or four months, yet we only occupy two half-furnished rooms, because we always live out of doors, like the birds: fortunately, when I first loved him, he had nothing at all, and I had just sold some jewels that had been given me, for a hundred francs, and put this sum in the lottery.As mad people and fools are always lucky, I gained a prize of four thousand francs.

Jacques was as gay, and light-headed, and full of fun as myself, so we said: `We love each other very much, and, as long as this money lasts, we will keep up the racket; when we have no more, one of two things will happen--either we shall be tired of one another, and so part--or else we shall love each other still, and then, to remain together, we shall try and get work again; and, if we cannot do so, and yet will not part--a bushel of charcoal will do our business!'"

"Good heaven!" cried Mother Bunch, turning pale.

"Be satisfied! we have not come to that.We had still something left, when a kind of agent, who had paid court to me, but who was so ugly that I could not bear him for all his riches, knowing that I was living with Jacques asked me to--But why should I trouble you with all these details?

In one word, he lent Jacques money, on some sort of a doubtful claim he had, as was thought, to inherit some property.It is with this money that we are amusing ourselves--as long as its lasts."

"But, my dear Cephyse, instead of spending this money so foolishly, why not put it out to interest, and marry Jacques, since you love him?"

"Oh! in the first place," replied the Bacchanal Queen, laughing, as her gay and thoughtless character resumed its ascendancy, "to put money out to interest gives one no pleasure.All the amusement one has is to look at a little bit of paper, which one gets in exchange for the nice little pieces of gold, with which one can purchase a thousand pleasures.As for marrying, I certainly like Jacques better than I ever liked any one; but it seems to me, that, if we were married, all our happiness would end--

for while he is only my lover, he cannot reproach me with what has passed --but, as my husband, he would be stare to upbraid me, sooner or later, and if my conduct deserves blame, I prefer giving it to myself, because I shall do it more tenderly."

"Mad girl that you are! But this money will not last forever.What is to he done next?"

"Afterwards!--Oh! that's all in the moon.To-morrow seems to me as if it would not come for a hundred years.If we were always saying: `We must die one day or the other'--would life be worth having?"