第81章

The words sank in, sank deep.Mildred, sense of her surroundings lost, was gazing straight ahead with an expression that gave Mrs.Belloc hope and even a certain amount of confidence.There was a distinct advance; for, after she reflected upon all that Mildred had told her, little of her former opinion of Mildred's chances for success had remained but a hope detained not without difficulty.Mrs.Belloc knew the human race unusually well for a woman--unusually well for a human being of whatever sex or experience.She had discovered how rare is the temperament, the combination of intelligence and tenacity, that makes for success.

She had learned that most people, judged by any stand-ard, were almost total failures, that most of the more or less successful were so merely because the world had an enormous amount of important work to be done, even though half-way, and had no one but those half-competents to do it.As incompetence in a man would be tolerated where it would not be in a woman, obviously a woman, to get on, must have the real temperament of success.

She now knew enough about Mildred to be able to ``place'' her in the ``lady'' class--those brought up not only knowing how to do nothing with a money value (except lawful or unlawful man-trapping), but also trained to a sensitiveness and refinement and false shame about work that made it exceedingly difficult if not impossible for them to learn usefulness.She knew all Mildred's handicaps, both those the girl was conscious of and those far heavier ones which she fatuously regarded as advantages.How was Mildred ever to learn to dismiss and disregard herself as the pretty woman of good social position, an object of admiration and consideration? Mildred, in the bottom of her heart, was regarding herself as already successful--successful at the highest a woman can achieve or ought to aspire to achieve--was regarding her career, however she might talk or might fancy she believed, as a mere livelihood, a side issue.She would be perhaps more than a little ashamed of her stage connections, should she make any, until she should be at the very top--and how get to the top when one is working under the handicap of shame? Above all, how was this indulgently and shelteredly reared lady to become a work-ing woman, living a routine life, toiling away day in and day out, with no let up, permitting no one and nothing to break her routine? ``Really,'' thought Agnes Belloc, ``she ought to have married that Baird man--or stayed on with the nasty general.I wonder why she didn't! That's the only thing that gives me hope.There must be something in her--something that don't appear--something she doesn't know about, herself.What is it? Maybe it was only vanity and vacillation.Again, I don't know.''

The difficulty Mrs.Belloc labored under in her attempt to explore and map Mildred Gower was a difficulty we all labor under in those same enterprises.We cannot convince ourselves--in spite of experience after experience--that a human character is never consistent and homogeneous, is always conglomerate, that there are no two traits, however naturally exclusive, which cannot coexist in the same personality, that circumstance is the dominating factor in human action and brings forward as dominant characteristics now one trait or set of traits, consistent or inconsistent, and now another.The Alexander who was Aristotle's model pupil was the same Alexander as the drunken debaucher.

Indeed, may it not be that the characters which play the large parts in the comedy of life are naturally those that offer to the shifting winds of circumstances the greatest variety of strongly developed and contradictory qualities? For example, if it was Mildred's latent courage rescued her from Siddall, was it not her strong tendency to vacillation that saved her from a loveless and mercenary marriage to Stanley Baird? Perhaps the deep underlying truth is that all unusual people have in common the character that centers a powerful aversion to stagnation; thus, now by their strong qualities, now by their weaknesses, they are swept inevitably on and on and ever on.Good to-day, bad to-morrow, good again the day after, weak in this instance, strong in that, now brave and now cowardly, soft at one time, hard at another, generous and the reverse by turns, they are consistent only in that they are never at rest, but incessantly and inevitably go.

Mildred reluctantly rose, moved toward the door with lingering step.``I guess I'd better make a start,''

said she.

``That's the talk,'' said Mrs.Belloc heartily.But the affectionate glance she sent after the girl was dubious--even pitying.