第360章

“I am not interested in your explanations. I know the truth better than you do. By God, if you get up out of that chair just once more—“And what I find more amusing than even tonight’s comedy is the fact that while you have been so virtuously denying me the pleasures of your bed because of my many sins, you have been lusting in your heart after Ashley Wilkes. ‘Lusting in your heart.’ That’s a good phrase, isn’t it? There are a number of good phrases, in that Book, aren’t there?”

“What book? What book?” her mind ran on, foolishly, irrelevantly as she cast frantic eyes about the room, noting how dully the massive silver gleamed in the dim light, how frighteningly dark the corners were.

“And I was cast out because my coarse ardors were too much for your refinement—because you didn’t want any more children. How bad that made me feel, dear heart! How it cut me! So I went out and found pleasant consolation and left you to your refinements. And you spent that time tracking the long-suffering Mr. Wilkes. God damn him, what ails him? He can’t be faithful to his wife with his mind or unfaithful with his body. Why doesn’t he make up his mind? You wouldn’t object to having his children, would you—and passing them off as mine?”

She sprang to her feet with a cry and he lunged from his seat, laughing that soft laugh that made her blood cold. He pressed her back into her chair with large brown hands and leaned over her.

“Observe my hands, my dear,” he said, flexing them before her eyes. “I could tear you to pieces with them with no trouble whatsoever and I would do it if it would take Ashley out of your mind. But it wouldn’t. So I think I’ll remove him from your mind forever, this way. I’ll put my hands, so, on each side of your head and I’ll smash your skull between them like a walnut and that will blot him out.”

His hands were on her head, under her flowing hair, caressing, hard, turning her face up to his. She was looking into the face of a stranger, a drunken drawling-voiced stranger. She had never lacked animal courage and in the face of danger it flooded back hotly into her veins, stiffening her spine, narrowing her eyes.

“You drunken fool,” she said. “Take your hands off me.”

To her surprise, he did so and seating himself on the edge of the table he poured himself another drink.

“I have always admired your spirit, my dear. Never more than now when you are cornered.”

She drew her wrapper close about her body. Oh, if she could only reach her room and turn the key in the stout door and be alone. Somehow, she must stand him off, bully him into submission, this Rhett she had never seen before. She rose without haste, though her knees shook, tightened the wrapper across her hips and threw back her hair from her face.

“I’m not cornered,” she said cuttingly. “You’ll never corner me, Rhett Butler, or frighten me. You are nothing but a drunken beast who’s been with bad women so long that you can’t understand anything else but badness. You can’t understand Ashley or me. You’ve lived in dirt too long to know anything else. You are jealous of something you can’t understand. Good night.”

She turned casually and started toward the door and a burst of laughter stopped her. She turned and he swayed across the room toward her. Name of God, if he would only stop that terrible laugh! What was there to laugh about in all of this? As he came toward her, she backed toward the door and found herself against the wall. He put his hands heavily upon her and pinned her shoulders to the wall.

“Stop laughing.”

“I am laughing because I am so sorry for you.”

“Sorry—for me? Be sorry for yourself.”

“Yes, by God, I’m sorry for you, my dear, my pretty little fool. That hurts, doesn’t it? You can’t stand either laughter or pity, can you?”

He stopped laughing, leaning so heavily against her shoulders that they ached. His face changed and he leaned so close to her that the heavy whisky smell of his breath made her turn her head.

“Jealous, am I?” he said. “And why not? Oh, yes, I’m jealous of Ashley Wilkes. Why not? Oh, don’t try to talk and explain. I know you’ve been physically faithful to me. Was that what you were trying to say? Oh, I’ve known that all along. All these years. How do I know? Oh, well, I know Ashley Wilkes and his breed. I know he is honorable and a gentleman. And that my dear, is more than I can say for you—or for me, for that matter. We are not gentlemen and we have no honor, have we? That’s why we flourish like green bay trees.”

“Let me go. I won’t stand here and be insulted.”

“I’m not insulting you. I’m praising your physical virtue. And it hasn’t fooled me one bit. You think men are such fools, Scarlett. It never pays to underestimate your opponent’s strength and intelligence. And I’m not a fool. Don’t you suppose I know that you’ve lain in my arms and pretended I was Ashley Wilkes?”

Her jaw dropped and fear and astonishment were written plainly in her face.

“Pleasant thing, that. Rather ghostly, in fact. Like having three in a bed where there ought to be just two.” He shook her shoulders, ever so slightly, hiccoughed and smiled mockingly.

“Oh, yes, you’ve been faithful to me because Ashley wouldn’t have you. But, hell, I wouldn’t have grudged him your body. I know how little bodies mean—especially women’s bodies. But I do grudge him your heart and your dear, hard, unscrupulous, stubborn mind. He doesn’t want your mind, the fool, and I don’t want your body. I can buy women cheap. But I do want your mind and your heart, and I’ll never have them, any more than you’ll ever have Ashley’s mind. And that’s why I’m sorry for you.”

Even through her fear and bewilderment, his sneer stung.

“Sorry—for me?”