There Are No Mistakes, Only Lessons 没有错误，只有教训

Human growth is a process of experimentation，trial，and error，ultimately leading to wisdom.Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action，you can never quite be certain how the situation will turn out.Sometimes you are victorious，and sometimes you become disillusioned.The failed experiments，however，are no less valuable than the experiments that ultimately prove successful； in fact，you usually learn more from your perceived“failures”than you do from your perceived“success”.

If you have made what you perceive to be a mistake or failed to live up to your own expectations，you will most likely put up a barrier between your essence and the part of you that is the alleged wrong-doer.However，perceiving past actions as mistakes implies guilt and blame，and it is not possible to learn anything meaning while you are engaged in blaming.Therefore，forgiveness is required when you are harshly judging yourself.

Forgiveness is the act of erasing an emotional debt.There are four kinds of forgiveness.

The first is beginner forgiveness for yourself.

The second of forgiveness is beginner forgiveness for another.

The third kind of forgiveness is advanced forgiveness of yourself.This is for serious transgressions，the ones you carry with deep shame.When you do something that violates your own values and ethics，you create a chasm between your standards and your actual behavior.In such a case，you need to work very hard at forgiving yourself for these deeds so that you call close this chasm and realign with the best part of yourself.This does not mean that you should rush to forgive yourself or not feel regret or remorse； but wallowing in these feelings for a protracted period of time is not healthy，and punishing yourself excessively will only creates a bigger gap between you and your ethics.

The last and perhaps most difficult one is the advanced forgiveness of another.At some time of our life，you may have been severely wronged or hurt by another person to such a degree that forgiveness seems impossible.However，harboring resentment and revenge fantasies only keeps you trapped in victimhood.Under such a circumstance，you should force yourself to see the bigger picture，by so doing，you will be able to shift the focus away from the anger and resentment.It is only through forgiveness that you can erase wrongdoing and clean the memory.When you can finally release the situation，you may come to see it as a necessary part of your growth.

从成功中你可以学到东西，但事实上，你通常可以从失败中学到更多。

参考译文（彭琪淋）

人的成长是一个不断体验、不断尝试、不断犯错，并最终通向智慧的过程。每次你自信满满，并付诸行动，你从来都不确定结果会是怎样。有时候你会载誉而归，有时候你会大失所望。但是失败的经历和成功的经历一样具有可贵的价值。从成功中你可以学到东西，但事实上，你通常可以从失败中学到更多。

如果你发觉自己犯了错或者不能达到自己的预期目标，你往往会在真正的自我和可疑的做错事的人之间放置一道障碍。但是，把过去的行为当做犯错只会增加内疚和自责，而在自责中你是不可能学到任何有意义的教训的。因此，当你过分苛求自己的时候，你应该对自己拥有宽恕之心。

宽恕是指完全放下曾经的芥蒂。宽恕有四种类型：

第一种是对自己的低层次的宽恕。

第二种是对他人过失的低层次的宽恕。

第三种是对自己更进一步的宽恕。这涉及到你严重的过失，即那些使你深深自责的过失。当你的所作所为违背了自己的价值观和道德观的时候，你的准则和自己的实际行为之间往往会出现一道裂痕。在这种情形下，你要非常努力地原谅自己的这些过失，这样你才能修复裂痕，重新塑造最好的自我。这并不意味着你可以仓促地原谅自己或是不知悔恨；而是因为，长时间地沉浸在懊悔中不利于健康，而且过度惩罚自己只会使自己和自己的道德准则之间的鸿沟愈加扩大。

第四种也许是最难的宽恕，它是对其他人的更进一步的宽恕。在我们的生活中，你可能被他人误会或是伤得很深，以至于你根本不可能原谅他们。但是，心怀怨恨和复仇的幻想只会使你陷入受伤害的情绪中。在这种情形下，你应该迫使自己看到更远的前景，这样做，你可以转移自己的愤怒和仇恨。只有宽恕他人，你才能摒弃过错，刷新记忆。当你最终从这种情形中解脱出来，你就会明白它是你成长过程中必不可缺的部分。